Bummed About Diapers (PART TWO): Elimination Communication and "The Diaper Free Baby"

In my last post, I discussed how I came to the notion of EC online while browsing various eco-friendly parenting sites. This was a concept I was completely in the dark about. Only could I recall many years ago hearing the term "diaper-free baby" and thinking, "Wow that's an oddball idea, probably thought up by smelly, hairy hippies. What a mess!" This was before I grew to realize I was very akin to a hippy myself (and learned that those stereotypes don't quite fit the culture). And of course, like many other western-world folks who have grown up post the 70's, I was conditioned to think of "diapers" and "babies" as going hand-in-hand. You see, disposable diapers were invented and popularized in the late 60's. And using cloth diapers? Equally strange to me back then. In fact, while in elementary school, I was friends with a girl who had a little baby brother in cloth diapers. I always wondered how messy that could be! Washing poo out of the laundry? Disgusting! Coupled with these other facts - the one time I ate dinner with them, they made me try tofu and toasted seaweed; they only watched educational TV, sparingly; they raised goats in their backyard, in the city; their mom made most of their clothing - I thought my friend and her family to be absolutely bizarre! My family was the complete opposite of theirs - we were fast-food eating, tv-watching, gross consumers. But I somehow grew up to be more and more like that old friend and reject almost all of my parents' ways.

As soon as I read a little about EC, I knew that this was the answer to my diaper worries. I checked out a wonderful book from the library called "The Diaper Free Baby" by Christine Gross-Loh, and plowed through it, every page becoming a greater affirmation to me that this was the right way for my future family. Ok, so what exactly is EC? How does it work, you ask?

Elimination Communication is a process of becoming attuned to your baby's own natural elimination cues and timing. You're not potty "training" your child, nor are you "training" yourself, rather you are creating better communication with your child, helping them to be aware of their elimination as you would help them with all their other bodily needs like eating or sleeping. Many babies signal naturally from birth when they need to go or are going poo or pee. Grunting, squirming, fussing, holding their breath - these are some of the ways babies tell us they have an elimination need. Even after they have gone, many babies in diapers will squirm or fuss because they are uncomfortable sitting in their own waste. Often they become calm and content once they are changed. And aside from very young newborns, babies tend to have a regular pattern of when they eliminate, such as going right after waking and during or directly after eating. Knowing your own baby's patterns and cues is the first step in EC. It involves a good amount of observation and attention on your part, but usually this isn't difficult for new parents because they're already spending a great deal of time with their infants. So what if you're a working parent, or your baby has other caregivers? Not a problem! "The Diaper Free Baby" walks you through the many ways that EC can be a part of your family's routine, whether you EC full-time, part-time, or very occasionally. EC is adaptable to your individual circumstances, comfort levels, and needs. And the author, along with a plethora of testimonials from families who do EC, offer many tips for involving other caregivers in the EC process.

So far EC sounds very do-able, right? Nothing too far fetched about communication. Actually this all sounds great! So here's more of the actual how-to of EC, the logistics:

Once you are aware and attuned to your child's elimination, it's just a matter of cuing your baby verbally, with a sound, or with ASL (or all of the above) when you see that they are eliminating or ready to eliminate, so that they associate the action with the cue and the result and become aware of the sensation their body has when they eliminate. And here's where the "diaper-free" part comes in. Instead of being dependant on diapers as receptacles for bodily elimination, EC involves helping your infant or older baby eliminate in a potty, bowl, toilet, or any other receptacle, and then flushing as you would normally your poo or pee. If it sounds strange for a little baby to use a potty or bowl, it's because you've been conditioned to think that this is a means of elimination reserved for toddlers, older children, and adults only. Sure, an infant or young baby will need assistance, as they cannot safely sit up on their own, so this involves holding them or supporting them until they are old enough to potty themselves. If this sounds like a lot of extra work, think of all the work involved in changing a diaper. The amount of time it takes to unbutton clothes, remove a poop-smeared diaper, wipe a soiled bottom (and their back and legs and your hands if there's a blow-out), wipe the changing table if it's a particularly messy diaper, apply cream for diaper rashes, put on a clean diaper, and re-dress baby, all while struggling with their kicking or rolling about, is already quite a hassle. Imagine all it takes to potty an EC-ed baby is remove their pants, hold them over the potty, cue them until they eliminate, wipe them clean with TP or a wipe (which is significantly easier and cleaner since they haven't been squishing around in their waste), dump or flush the waste, and re-dress. No more smelly diapers stinking up the nursery, no more poop up the back, and no more kicking during diaper changes. Pottying can even be fun for baby and the rest of the family!

So what happens when we're not near a potty, you might ask? What about EC-ing on the go? "Diaper Free Baby" goes into great detail about how EC works outside of the home. One point to note is that soon, your baby will develop the ability to "hold it" until given a "pottytunity." Many families have expressed that while running errands, they simply potty baby before they leave, once while out if it's a long time away from home, and again when they return home, with no or few misses (a "miss" is when you don't catch the elimination before it happens." If you are experiencing very frequent misses, you can use a diaper or training pant as a just-in-case back-up. So you see, EC is not actually about never using diapers, rather it's a way to free yourself and your baby from the dependence on diapers.

Of course, there are probably a dozen questions many of you have about how EC would work for your family. I highly recommend reading Christine Gross-Loh's book, as it's extremely informative, shows how adaptable EC is to many different lifestyles, and offers countless tips and testimonials from parents who have experienced EC in their own unique ways. It's an easy read for anyone new to EC, and Gross-Loh approaches the subject with a relaxed and nurturing manner. She has PhD and is a mother, herself, so you can trust that she's knowledgeable. In addition to the book, there's an immense amount of resources available online and in book-form, as well as a number of support groups throughout the world, including one called DiaperFreeBaby which Gross-Loh is involved in. There are even stores and online-shops devoted to selling items that can make ECing easier for you and your family, such as infant-sized underwear, cloth training pants, potties and bowls, etc.

In my opinion, Elimination Communication just seems like the best way to go. Because it's extremely gentler to baby and to the environment, because it's natural and non-coercive, because EC offers another way for parents and their babies to communicate and bond with one another, and because it's a tried and true method that has been practiced throughout the world for centuries and through modernity, particularly where disposable diapers are considered only to be a luxury item, hands-down I'm hooked.