Oh yeah, I do like to draw.

I had forgotten. I am (sometimes) creative!

And fittingly, I found my reminder out there in the blogosphere. A couple days ago, I was reading one of my favorite blogs of late in an attempt to become inspired. I was looking not for inspiration to draw but rather to write (makes sense, you know, reading to get started writing). As any regular followers of Cozy Little Life know, the posts come in spurts. I get urges, write one or two posts, and then fizzle out. So I was looking for some sort of kick-start and that day's post was all about how the author realized her own talent and enjoyment in drawing while helping motivate her daughter's creativity. Her family declared it an Art Weekend (how great is that?)!

Well, it made me think about my own drawing project I had abandoned many months ago, and the others that never even got their starts because...because why? What happened to my creative mojo? I've always been a pretty creative person in nature, rather than a very logical or analytical one. Art, music, writing - my brain has always just understood them. I played an instrument all throughout grade school, took etching and drawing classes in college, and I wrote half a novel for my thesis. But after my days of the classroom came to an end, these old interests seemed to end, too. It would be easy to blame my grown-up responsibilities as the killer of my creative side because even after several job changes and successful efforts to make more time for me and my 'muse' to bond together, I still stopped creating. Too much time had passed since I last tried, or maybe I got burnt out, all of my creative juices spent. Mostly, I think I let the big scary thought of drawing or writing or whatever (and the daunting end-product I was working towards) stop me from even starting a project. This too often has been the case for me, in life. Is it a self-doubt issue? Probably.

Well an hour or two after reading that blog post, I pulled out the unfinished project, my charcoal pencils and powder, and sat down to draw. And it felt AMAZING. I didn't worry about how it will look in the end, about how long it might take to complete, about whether or not I will keep on drawing a day from now, or next week or next month. I might fizzle out again. But I tried not to think and just let myself enjoy the act of drawing. I was right away more peaceful and content and meditative with every scratch of my pencil over the paper.

I thought of a young boy I babysit. He's four, and he loves to draw. But also, a lot of the time, he gets upset and stressed out about how "good" he can draw, and then it's not enjoyable for him. Sometimes he won't even start a drawing because he already thinks it's going to be "bad" in his mind. It's saddening to witness his joy squandered by an arbitrary notion of talent that he picked up from where? Contrast that with his little sister, who's 18 months. She loves to draw and loves the act of drawing. She doesn't yet know what talent means. She probably doesn't even have an image in her consciousness of what her picture will be or is once it's completed. Drawing is still so pure for her. Is her own self-doubt as an artist inevitable? It it that perhaps unlike her brother, she's just more creative by nature and will continue to enjoy drawing even when she's four and still as she's older? I can't guess.

Why is it that we (the greater we, everyone, society) should suddenly give up coloring and crafts when we leave grade school? I believe it's both Waldorf and Rudolf Steiner, two approaches to education, that foster art all across the curriculum as a more innate tool of expression and learning that everyone can share in and utilize throughout their lifetimes. As opposed to the notion that art is one separate subject, with boundaries, that becomes reserved only for the gifted, "talented," once we reach a certain level of education.

Well, maybe this discussion is a little bigger than one post can handle. I started out writing with the intent to discuss imitation and it's ability to inspire. Monkey see monkey do. It digs a bit deeper, though, and begs for thorough pondering.

Kss.

Kss.

Kss.

Kss.

Listen to the leaves falling one by one.

Kss.

Kss.

Kss.

Kss.

Listen. Listen.

Walking home this evening from a late afternoon movie, fall was definitely announcing its presence to us. Even donning my wool pea coat and with legs sheathed in my new purple fall tights, I folded my arms across my body and held on a little bit tighter to fend off chill. No longer just a smattering of leaves are upon the sidewalks but in some spots now the paths are entirely obscured by their browns and reds and yellows. It's time to start switching gears, to begin moving a little slower and settle in a little deeper.

"Then there were THREE in the family..."

How much do I love them, my cozy little family? ALL OF IT! That's a lot, I know. Just one month ago, Austin and I adopted (our first!) and our couldn't-possibly-get-better lives got so (so very!) much better. We named her Yuki, meaning "joyful."

You could have asked me before if I'd fall in love with this little bundle of pure tenderness, and of course the answer would have been a resounding "yes without a doubt!" (well, more like "yaaay kitteeeeee!") but the moment she stretched out her tiny little arms and legs and yawned and I saw her pink little tongue and her eyes closed so tight... I melted.

Of course I can't resist all the cuddles and the kisses, the snuggle-her-up-so-close-next-to-me scrunched up nose kisses because she's just so damn CUTE!

There's nothing sweeter than the deep peace I feel when I stare down at her as she naps beside me on the couch. Oh! And I can't get enough of how unbelievably soft she is. I'm really hooked.

Who can blame me? Aren't you in love with my baby, erm kitty, too?

For Those Pesky Lookie-Loos Outside your Loo: Contact-Papered Windows (Shoji-Screen Style)

My husband and I live in a rented apartment.Now, in said apartment the bathroom's single medium-sized window (which I feel is quite large for any bathroom) is placed so "cleverly" as to allow me to gaze out into the beautious world while I sit ever-so-peacefully on the toilet, taking a poo. Nice, eh? Picture it. Not only can I bird-watch while I eliminate, but birdies (and people alike if they come to pay a visit) can return my gaze (!) since the window in mention is also situated alongside our front door and facing the front stoop which is shared by a neighboring apartment. I feel so exposed.

Being on a tight budget, as most of us are these days, I couldn't just go out and buy window treatments. I had to keep the purchases to a bare minimum or make do with stuff I already had at home. So at some point, probably while I was in a receptive and prone position on the toilet, I had this brilliant idea of custom painting a removable window film with clear contact paper and cheap acrylics. I already had a roll of contact paper in my craft cupboard (I like to use it for laminating various things, you know, when you randomly need to laminate) along with an assortment of paintbrushes to choose from... all I needed was a new paint color, and with a short bike-ride to the craft store I was able to pick up a small tube for 97 cents. With simple supplies spread all around - a ruler, a pencil, a handful of clothes-pins, paintbrush, paint, and contact paper - like a kiddie in grade school I plunked myself down on the kitchen floor and got to work.

I have to admit, I can't take credit for the idea of using contact paper on windows. I wish I could, because whoever figured it out is a smartie. As materials go, it's cheap, easy to adhere, and totally removable. Unfortunately, I can't remember where I came across the source, so I can't give credit where credit is due. But I did use my pretty little head to imagine a design, however simple. I wanted something akin to a Japanese Shoji-screen, using an off-white paint to look like rice paper...sorta. As to what design you choose, the options are endless - you might enjoy a a multi-colored stained glass replication, a black and white geometric pattern, or a soft Monet-like scene of flowers. I hope this gives you some inspiration to try it out in some form in your home (whether on a window, a glass curio cabinet or cupboard, or a glass coffee table, etc.)

Here's My Beautifully Imperfect, Homemade Shoji-Style Window Screen

HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN REMOVABLE WINDOW FILM

Materials You Will Need:

• Clear* Contact Paper a.k.a Shelf Liner (*You can use opaque contact paper, but this will prevent light from filtering through, rendering your window useless. If your aim is to pretend you don't have a window there, then this would be a good idea I suppose.)
• Acrylic Paint* or Etching/Glass Specific Paint (*Some acrylics stick better to slick surfaces than others. If you're concerned about flaking/chipping, go with paint made specifically for glass. The cheapo acryclic I bought flakes off if I mess with it, but I touch the surface of the window pane as little as possible. I went for the temporary and frugal application option, but you can certainly make yours more lasting with an upgrade in materials.)
• A Paint Brush
• Measuring Tape
• Ruler
• Scissors
• Pencil
• Stencils (Optional)
• Clothespins or Stones or Whatever (to hold down the corners and sides of the paper as they tend to roll under on their own)

What You Do With Those Materials [is really up to you] :

1. Measure the height and width of your window pane, then cut out a sheet of contact paper to fit that size exactly. I recommend using a ruler and carefully marking off height and width at several spaced intervals along the sheet before cutting, to be sure you have an even rectangle. *Don't remove the paper backing of the contact paper.
2. Place a handful of clothespins or other paper-weights along the corners and edges of the contact paper to prevent the sheet from rolling itself up while you paint.
3. Go at it! Paint your window screen (on the side that is not the paper backing side), then let it dry. Using a hair dryer on cool or low heat speeds the drying process, if you're as impatient as I am.
4. When adhering the finished screen to your window, enlisting the help of a buddy is really nice. Peel away just a little bit of the paper backing on one side or corner and align the screen properly on your window, then press that small area down and smooth out the bubbles. Keep the screen partly rolled up, especially if adhering it alone, and unroll it a little bit at a time - this helped me immensely. Peel a little more away and press it down, peel some more and press it down, unroll some more, peel some more,...until you've got it stuck on completely. Using your hands, gently smooth out any remaining bubbles (if using the cheapo acrylic, you'll probably have to do this VERY gently to keep the paint from flaking).
5. And that's it! Enjoy you're new-found privacy and revel in the fact that you made this yourself!

Keep Crafting With Contact Paper! : Try painting your own decals and cut them out free-hand-style for unique and cheap seasonal decoration!

Note: Contact Paper is completely removable, but not really re-usable. The non-sustainable ramifications make me weep, but it's still a neat and resourceful idea if you ask me.

Self-Proclaimed, A Granola-Eatin' Peacenik

Good for the belly and good for the soul - Homemade granola is quickly becoming one of this health-conscious housewife's household staples because it's a perfect breakfast for those mornings when we're short on time and don't want to prepare a meal, it's filling enough to give us energy and keep us satisfied for most of the morning, and it's cheaper than store-bought granola or other cereals. Making granola at home also means that I can add whatever ingredients I choose, based on what I have on hand or what's on sale, and I can control how much sweetener is added (personally, I like a less sweet, more savoury granola). Thus, it's extremely versatile. Even more awesome is that I don't have to follow a complicated recipe to make it, because once you've made granola you know how to make granola. Think oats, nuts, seeds, and fruit. Throw in a little bit of this, a little bit of that, add some oil and sweet stuff, and get it all toasty - it's just that easy. Here's an example of a delicious granola recipe you can try:

Mix in a large bowl:

3 Cups Old Fashioned Oats

1/2 Cup Dried Coconut (Grated)

1/4 Cup Sunflower Seed Kernels

1/4 Cup Pumpkin Seeds

1/2 Cup Pistachios

1/4 Cup Almonds

1 TBSP Sesame Seeds

1 Tsp Ground Cinnamon

1/4 Cup Vegetable Oil (of your choosing)

1/8 Cup - 1/4 Cup Brown Rice Syrup (or sweetener of your choice, like agave, honey or maple syrup)

Pour the mixture into a non greased baking dish and bake for about 30 minutes on 350 degrees, stirring every 10 minutes. When oats are toasted a light brown and smell oh so yummy, remove from heat, and stir in:

1/4 Cup Dried Apple Chunks

1/4 Cup Raisins

1/4 Cup Dried Date Chunks

Let it come to room temperature, then scoop the granola goodness into an airtight jar or tin and store in a cool, dry place until it's devoured. Then make some more!

Oats, nuts, seeds, and fruit. Oats, nuts, seeds, and fruit. Oats, nuts, seeds, and fruit.

Drizzle Drip Go the Raindrops

I wait with longing for cloud-break. Damp and musty, the walls are swollen and seem to press in as if they're listening for a whispered secret. Hush, go ahead.

Here's an Apartment Eye-Spy while we wait for the sun to grace us with its presence again. (UPDATE: It's 9 am and there's a soft glow about the trees - I daresay, the sun may be rubbing its eyes and leaving the pillowy clouds after all...or not.)

::

paper umbrell mobile, from powell's books in portland, oregon
::

old tincture bottle serving as makeshift vase for the sweetest little flowers picked outside our apartment

::

cutting of a pothos plant, at home in a stone-filled jar, adorned with a re-purposed bamboo window shade

"My Sushi Was Home-Rolled...How About Yours?"

How to Host Your Own All-You-Can-Roll Sushi (Makizushi) Night

You might be asking yourself, "But isn't it difficult to roll sushi?"

In answer: "Yes, masters often must first apprentice for years and years in order to have the sole privelage of making sushi rice and then maybe later they learn to roll, but also no, really anyone can do it. Haha. It's actually a fairly forgiving process, once you get the basic concepts down. There is some, a little finesse involved in not over-stuffing the maki rolls so they stay sealed and in getting them to look all neat and tidy for presentation, but who truly cares what your sushi looks like as long as it tastes good, right?"

Short answer: "Lighten up! Don't take things so seriously." That's what I say.

Anyone can do this! If you must obsess about presentation, put any ugly dud-rolls on a separate plate or eat up your mishaps as you go along. Keep the atmosphere light-hearted and laid-back, laugh and chat while you roll, compare unique filling combinations you may come upon with the rest of the group and after piling the finished sushi onto a couple of platters, feast until your hearts and stomachs are content. You'll delight in the surprises you get when tasting eachother's handiwork.

Aside from your imagination and a sense of adventure, the Essential Tools You'll Need are:

• Sushi Rice (see recipe to follow) - ingredients for sushi rice include Short-Grain Sushi Rice (white or brown), Rice Vinegar, Water, Sugar (or sugar substitute), Salt
• Rice Cooker to make the rice, or a solid pot and fitting lid... I mean, c'mon, you're just making rice. No biggie. But I'll probably be shunned for saying that.
• Nori Sheets (Toasted Seaweed Sushi Wrapper) - one sheet makes about 5 or 6 pieces of maki or 1 hand-roll
• Sharp Knife for cutting maki
• Fillings, to taste (more ideas to follow)
• Wasabi, to taste
• Soy Sauce, to taste
• Pickled Ginger, to taste
• A Healthy Appetite (without this, you're lost)

I've found that some Helpful, But Not At All Necessary Tools include:

• Bamboo Sushi Mat for assisted rolling. I don't use one. I roll with my bare hands. Yep, I'm hard-core, can you handle it?
• Wooden Spatula for spreading the sushi rice. I use my fingers, wetting them with water first to minimize sticking. Whatever floats your boat, though.
• Several Shallow Dishes or Plates to cool and present the sushi rice, enough for guests to use conveniently without reaching too often in front of others (or everyone can just take turns - that works too.)
• Bowls of Water and Dish Towels to wet/rinse fingers off and wipe hands.
• Mini Shallow Dishes for serving soy sauce and wasabi.

To Make Sushi Rice:

You'll need 1 lb. short-grain rice (white or brown), 2 1/2 cups of water, 5 tbsp rice vinegar, 3 tbsp sugar (or desired sugar substitution - I use agave), and 2 tbsp salt.

Place the rice in a rice cooker, add water, and follow the manufacturer's directions for cooking. Or

place the rice in a pot with lid and add the water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer very low with steam for 15 -20 minutes, or until the water is absorbed. Taste-test a grain or two to check for chewiness. If it's still crunchy and not softened/sticky yet, add more water and continue a low simmer. I usually have to add an additional 1/2 cup of water because my rice cooker heats up too quickly. Remove the rice from heat and spread it out on plates or in shallow dishes, so it can cool evenly. You may try fanning it with a magazine or something similar to cool it quicker.

While the rice is cooking, mix the vinegar, salt, and sugar in a saucepan and heat gently while stirring until the sugar dissolves. Remove this from heat and let it cool before drizzling it over the rice. Run a spatula through the rice gently to evenly distribute the mixture through the grains.

To Prepare Nori Sheets with Rice and Fillings Before Rolling:

Lay nori sheet smooth side down (one side is slightly rougher/textured) on a rolling mat or table surface, vertically so it's tall rather than wide in front of you, and spread (press down) a very thin layer of rice on the bottom 3/5 to 3/4 of the sheet (leave a strip at the top for overlapping to seal). I personally like to go with the 3/5 ratio for slightly smaller maki that is more pop-in-your-mouth sized, and this also helps me prevent over-stuffing or seam bursting.

Across your rice (halfway between the top of the rice and the bottom), horizontally lay your fillings in a narrow strip grouped together like tiny logs, keeping the diameter of the combined "logs" to no more than 1/2 inch.

A General Idea of How To Roll:

Roll from the bottom to the top, gently pinching the fillings together for tightness and gently squeezing the nori roll as you go to keep uniformity. Stop when you've reached the end of the rice, and moisten the remaining nori with water or soy sauce using your finger tip. Continue rolling and seal the nori.

Cutting the maki is slightly easier when the roll has set for a minute. Clean or wet the knife in between cuts to allow for a smooth glide through the maki. Note: Even if you don't have an awesome sushi chef's knife or your knife is not ultra sharp, you can achieve a cleaner cut without smooshing your roll by doing a tenderly slow sawing motion (sooo tenderly) until you've sliced through.

As for the goodies within...

There are a million possibilities of sushi filling variations. I try to add one off-the-wall ingredient each time:

Sometimes I hit upon perfection, sometimes the flavors are just "meh"then my tongue says, "Whatever, not impressed,"and rarely I make something that's just too weird for my buds to handle. Recently I sampled my own ochra, sprouts, and pomegranite vinegarette sushi which I wasn't so keen on - the okra was too slimy - and luckily I didn't subject any other innocent folk to those odd-ball rolls. Also not a fan of hard-boiled egg and celery in my sushi. But I've hit upon some tasty pairings, namely the addition of crunchy, dried, fried garlic bits, which I found come in a jar at the asian market (in the seasonings section) for quite cheap. Scrambled eggs are equally delicious paired with almost anything, especially with grilled salmon and cream cheese.Additionally, I've done a soft filling of pureed edame seasoned with curry and garlic chile sauce,and I'd give that a big huge thumbs up! Give your spice rack a once over and consider sprinkling in some curry powder, ground ginger, or cumin before rolling it up. Or try spreading on some hummus.

Common Fillings That are Golden include: Cucumbers, avocado, green onion, sprouts, daikon, shredded carrot, smoked salmon, tuna, crab, scrambled egg, tofu, cream cheese, Vegenaise, sesame seeds

Home-Rolled Sushi and A Little Coming-of-age Tale

My sushi Awakening came, I sheepishly admit, not until I was in my college years.

Prior to that great day, if you had once asked me to tell the difference between unagi and nigiri, I may have guessed that they were characters in the latest Karate Kid sequel, you know, close friends of Mr. Miyagi. Actually, my ignorance spread far beyond that, leaving my taste repertoire completely void of all Japanese cuisine. In my defense, I had an extremely unadventurous upbringing, in which the total extent of my family's forays into the world's broader palette of flavors included no more than Chinese fried rice and lo mein. A peek into my parent's spice racks will find their home cooking to be completely lacking in just that - spice. I think they've got basil, garlic salt, terragon, peppercorns, allspice, and... nope, that's it. And rice variety? Well, there's none other than Uncle Ben's Minute-Rice. I can almost hear my sweet mother - "What's the difference? Just cooking time, right?"

Oh, I have to simply take a deep breath, bite my tongue, throw up my proverbial hands and tell myself, "It's okaaaay. Just let it be." Because I grew up and passed out of that naive phase in which I would say to any and all new foods, "I don't like it," without even trying it... but my parents have not.

When it comes to sushi, I'm almost certain neither of my parents have ever even tried it. They're in their fifties. This baffles me. But then, it means I feel a little less embarrassed to admit that I didn't lose my sushi virginity until I was nineteen. I've had a lot more experience since then. You could say I've been around the block, so to speak. Now, give me a half-decent hand-roll, nothing fancy, and I immediately sushi-gasm. I don't even need a cup of sake, first, to put me in the mood. Don't be put off if following the meal I pat my belly and drift off into a sushi coma, a placid grin spread across my face.

All sex-refences aside (sorry, where did they come from? It's too easy to equate the pleasure I get from that little nasal zing of wasabi to the chills that run up my spine when... oh, hey, let's keep this family-friendly!) ...

It was my friends who influenced me. I blame (read: THANK) them for introducing me to the melt-in-your-mouth goodness of sushi that I had been missing. Suffice it to say, since my very first cautious bite (read: gobble) of a california roll - I have to laugh a little because I thought I was being gutsy enough with that - I have been a faithful follower. They said, "Try it, you'll like it, everybody's doing it, it's totally natural" and I went "Daaaaaaaaamn, that's good stuff."

Ah lak it ahlot - that's my mouth full of salmon nigiri, saying, "I like it a lot."

If money and the body's vomit reflex were not an issue, I could just eat and eat and eat and eat, until I closed down a sushi joint. In fact, a close-knit few have witnessed me gorge myself on twenty-plus pieces (I won't let myself take an actual count) of maki in one sitting. I can't take all the glory of such a fantastic glut, because my good friends and husband have matched me at it, piece by piece. I assure you, I didn't purchase all that sushi at a restaurant. GOD NO, I couldn't afford that. I can only indulge in such a way during our super-awesome All-You-Can-Roll Sushi Nights that my husband and I frequently host. Last time, we had to cover the remaining sushi half-way through the evening with a plate to take a necessary break (an intermission, if you will) before *GROAN BELCH* finishing off the delicious bounty. The "out-of-sight = out-of-mind" notion, understand? It's always surprising, really incredible and quite pleasing actually, how much (a plethora) [of] sushi we can yield with just a few bucks worth of ingredients (especially since we purchase the fixins at an asian market as opposed to our neighborhood high-end natural food grocer!) We've made it a pot-luck where everyone brings their own favorite filling - we provide the prepared rice and nori sheets with appetizers and a few fillings we have on hand - and our investment was no more than 10 dollars. How awesome is that?

Guess what? You can do it, too. Did you see it coming? That long-winded intro was all to lead up this: How to Host Your Own All-You-Can-Roll Sushi (Makizushi) Night... now in it's own easy-to-access, separate post

Score! Brown Rice Tortillas! Whoohooooooo!

Hypothetical Question:

"What if, for serious medical reasons, you were told today that you could never ever again be able to eat [Insert Favorite Food* Here]? How could you go on with your life?" *May include but is not limited to: Gooey Chocolate Brownies, Carb-Loaded Pasta Including Creamy Mac n' Cheese, Cheese of All Sorts, Mexican Food (vague, but this is just a hypothetical), Ice Cream, Pizza, Toaster Waffles, etc.

For a foodie, the typical answer is:

"GASP, Nooooo! Life would be so bland without [Food]. I'd go on a hunger strike! I'd die!"

Well, what if that question became a reality? It's really so easy to take the foods you love for granted. But for people with food sensitivities from allergens like gluten, corn, yeast, sugar, dairy, etc., figuring out what they are left with to eat, and what can actually be enjoyable, can become a daily struggle over the balance between diet and health. Most health-conscious folk read nutrition labels religiously to avoid things like hydrogenated oils, mono or triglycerides, excess sugars, artificial additives, and so on. I was one of those people. Now, I'm a label-reader to the extreme. Since my husband recently discovered that he may be sensitive to some or all of 37 (!) commonly listed ingredients, and since I'm such a loving, supportive wife (martyr?) who tries to eat whatever my husband eats when possible, to reduce temptation and make our kitchen a friendly and safe environment for him, my routine grocery trips have turned into a big teasing game of "Nah Nah Nah, You Can't Have That!" Something like sugar (evaporated cane juice, raw cane extract, etc.), is literally in 90% (ok, that's an estimate) of the food items on the market. Even in so-called whole-foods/health-foods sections! There are a handful of items that are sweetened with honey, but my hubby can't have honey either. C'mon, give some lovin' to natural fruit juice sweeteners, people! And a majority of gluten-free products out there substitute corn as the grain, which means that corn-less folk can't partake. My husband and I are particularly fond of Mexican Food - burritos, enchiladas, tostadas, tacos, mmmmmmmmmmmmm. I promise you that is not too many "m's" to convey the ultimate yum-factor of Mexi-goodness. Those foods are all traditionally made with corn or flour, not to mention with added fat of butter or lard. I say Poo! Cross that off our list.

Then this afternoon, I totally had my day, nay WEEK, made when I went to our local Trader Joe's, and discovered a handful of totally safe, allergen-free foods that my husband and I can both eat and enjoy without sacrificing much in taste! It's like the good old days again! I was able to buy brown rice pasta, which at other leading stores is either supplemented with corn meal or jacked-up in price to where you might as well have flown it in straight from the rice paddies, first-class. At an affordable $1.99, comparable to regular semolina/wheat pasta, it's well worth a try! I also found Gluten-Free Pancake/Waffle Mix for a crazy $2.99! Normally such a thing is $5 or $6, but not Joe's variety! A bag of reduced Guilt Potato Chips kettle-cooked in sunflower oil instead of cannola (for corn-allergic folk) cost a mere $1.79. And my saving grace: Brown Rice Tortillas! Ingredients: Brown Rice Flour, Filtered Water, Tapioca Flour, Safflower Oil, Rice Bran, Vegetable Gum (Xanthum Cellulose), Sea Salt. No butter. No lard. No corn! Price: $2.49 for 6 tortillas! Thank God! Thank Joe! I was tempted to buy twelve bags, but realistically went home with two. Post-purchases, I rushed home, unpacked my loot, and wrote a sincere thank-you comment on Trader Joe's webpage. I would have done a happy dance then and there, if I weren't so damn hungry from the hour-plus it took to check every label while shopping at lunchtime.

This cozy little life just got a lot easier!

And Joe? If you're reading? Please please don't discontinue those tortillas. I'll make it well worth your while.

Yummy Almond Butter Tea Biscuits: Wheat-free, Dairy-free, Sugar-free (Recipe)

Nope, it's not an oxymoron. I really have found a recipe for some not only edible but quite certainly satisfying cookies, and they're made completely sans allergens!

INGREDIENTS* :

1/2 cup almond butter
1 to 1 1/2 cups barely flour
3 -6 tablespoons agave nectar
0-3 tablespoons soy milk
1/2 to 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

*Based on your personal taste-preferences for sweetness, aim for about 7 tablespoons of liquids total. Add flour slowly and adjust quantities based on the consistency of the dough as you mix. You want it to not be too sticky as you roll it out, but if you add too much flour, it will make a more crumbly cookie. Also, sunflower butter can be substituted for the almond butter, but you may need to add additional flour as it may make the dough creamier. Similarly, if you don't have barley flour, or are allergic, try oat flour or whatever else you feel compelled to. Feel free to experiment with sweeteners, too. Try two tablespoons of molasses or four tablespoons of honey. In the end, just wing it! Trust your instincts and trust the simple nature of the recipe.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Place the almond butter in a bowl and "stir" with a fork or mix with mixer to soften. You can warm the jar of butter (opened) in a pan of shallow water on the stove before hand to make measuring and mixing easier.
3. Add the flour, sweetener, and extract and mix/knead thoroughly. Get messy and use your hands!
4. Place between parchment paper and roll out to 1/4" thick, then cut with decorative cookie cutters. Lay the cut outs on parchment on top of a baking sheet, spacing them out about 1/2" apart (they won't really rise or spread).
5. Bake 10-15 minutes, until golden brown and set. Cookies will crisp as they cool.
6. Lift parchment and cookies off the pan and let cool for 15 minutes, then store in an airtight container.

Makes about 7 large turtles or 15 small hearts!

These are not ultra dense like a Biscotti but also not really chewy like a Chocolate Chip - just in between. A little bit crumbly, they're perfect left plain as an accompaniment to coffee or tea, and of course they go well with milk. They'll hold up being dunked once or twice, too. Because they're not ultra-sweet, and because they offer up some healthy fats and protein, you can enjoy them for breakfast without any guilt. My personal favorite version of this treat is smeared with some sugar-less applebutter or jam on top (I think it also makes them look prettier). Whether you cut them into adorable, bite-sized animal shapes or into larger rounds or stars, they're quick and easy to prepare and even easier to devour.

I adapted the recipe from this one I found online, using ingredients that were either more readily available at the grocery store, more inexpensive, or that I already had in my home, and then I tweaked the quantites a few times based on the consistency of the dough as I mixed it. I've made them three times, doing something differently with every batch, and they all came out just as tasty.

A Watchful Gray Laze Day

Living Room Eye-Spy

The day is just perfect for sipping a generous mug of tea, munching on some crisp and chewy choco-chip home-baked yummies, and staring into space.

fichus

dried fruit - strung cranberries from christmas 2008

leaf dish and rocks

old friends on the journey - sheep from ireland, zebra from old town, san diego, california

I hope you enjoy your Saturday in much the same way. But if you're stuck running errands or drudgery at work, I hope the sentiment is there.

Bummed About Diapers (PART TWO): Elimination Communication and "The Diaper Free Baby"

In my last post, I discussed how I came to the notion of EC online while browsing various eco-friendly parenting sites. This was a concept I was completely in the dark about. Only could I recall many years ago hearing the term "diaper-free baby" and thinking, "Wow that's an oddball idea, probably thought up by smelly, hairy hippies. What a mess!" This was before I grew to realize I was very akin to a hippy myself (and learned that those stereotypes don't quite fit the culture). And of course, like many other western-world folks who have grown up post the 70's, I was conditioned to think of "diapers" and "babies" as going hand-in-hand. You see, disposable diapers were invented and popularized in the late 60's. And using cloth diapers? Equally strange to me back then. In fact, while in elementary school, I was friends with a girl who had a little baby brother in cloth diapers. I always wondered how messy that could be! Washing poo out of the laundry? Disgusting! Coupled with these other facts - the one time I ate dinner with them, they made me try tofu and toasted seaweed; they only watched educational TV, sparingly; they raised goats in their backyard, in the city; their mom made most of their clothing - I thought my friend and her family to be absolutely bizarre! My family was the complete opposite of theirs - we were fast-food eating, tv-watching, gross consumers. But I somehow grew up to be more and more like that old friend and reject almost all of my parents' ways.

As soon as I read a little about EC, I knew that this was the answer to my diaper worries. I checked out a wonderful book from the library called "The Diaper Free Baby" by Christine Gross-Loh, and plowed through it, every page becoming a greater affirmation to me that this was the right way for my future family. Ok, so what exactly is EC? How does it work, you ask?

Elimination Communication is a process of becoming attuned to your baby's own natural elimination cues and timing. You're not potty "training" your child, nor are you "training" yourself, rather you are creating better communication with your child, helping them to be aware of their elimination as you would help them with all their other bodily needs like eating or sleeping. Many babies signal naturally from birth when they need to go or are going poo or pee. Grunting, squirming, fussing, holding their breath - these are some of the ways babies tell us they have an elimination need. Even after they have gone, many babies in diapers will squirm or fuss because they are uncomfortable sitting in their own waste. Often they become calm and content once they are changed. And aside from very young newborns, babies tend to have a regular pattern of when they eliminate, such as going right after waking and during or directly after eating. Knowing your own baby's patterns and cues is the first step in EC. It involves a good amount of observation and attention on your part, but usually this isn't difficult for new parents because they're already spending a great deal of time with their infants. So what if you're a working parent, or your baby has other caregivers? Not a problem! "The Diaper Free Baby" walks you through the many ways that EC can be a part of your family's routine, whether you EC full-time, part-time, or very occasionally. EC is adaptable to your individual circumstances, comfort levels, and needs. And the author, along with a plethora of testimonials from families who do EC, offer many tips for involving other caregivers in the EC process.

So far EC sounds very do-able, right? Nothing too far fetched about communication. Actually this all sounds great! So here's more of the actual how-to of EC, the logistics:

Once you are aware and attuned to your child's elimination, it's just a matter of cuing your baby verbally, with a sound, or with ASL (or all of the above) when you see that they are eliminating or ready to eliminate, so that they associate the action with the cue and the result and become aware of the sensation their body has when they eliminate. And here's where the "diaper-free" part comes in. Instead of being dependant on diapers as receptacles for bodily elimination, EC involves helping your infant or older baby eliminate in a potty, bowl, toilet, or any other receptacle, and then flushing as you would normally your poo or pee. If it sounds strange for a little baby to use a potty or bowl, it's because you've been conditioned to think that this is a means of elimination reserved for toddlers, older children, and adults only. Sure, an infant or young baby will need assistance, as they cannot safely sit up on their own, so this involves holding them or supporting them until they are old enough to potty themselves. If this sounds like a lot of extra work, think of all the work involved in changing a diaper. The amount of time it takes to unbutton clothes, remove a poop-smeared diaper, wipe a soiled bottom (and their back and legs and your hands if there's a blow-out), wipe the changing table if it's a particularly messy diaper, apply cream for diaper rashes, put on a clean diaper, and re-dress baby, all while struggling with their kicking or rolling about, is already quite a hassle. Imagine all it takes to potty an EC-ed baby is remove their pants, hold them over the potty, cue them until they eliminate, wipe them clean with TP or a wipe (which is significantly easier and cleaner since they haven't been squishing around in their waste), dump or flush the waste, and re-dress. No more smelly diapers stinking up the nursery, no more poop up the back, and no more kicking during diaper changes. Pottying can even be fun for baby and the rest of the family!

So what happens when we're not near a potty, you might ask? What about EC-ing on the go? "Diaper Free Baby" goes into great detail about how EC works outside of the home. One point to note is that soon, your baby will develop the ability to "hold it" until given a "pottytunity." Many families have expressed that while running errands, they simply potty baby before they leave, once while out if it's a long time away from home, and again when they return home, with no or few misses (a "miss" is when you don't catch the elimination before it happens." If you are experiencing very frequent misses, you can use a diaper or training pant as a just-in-case back-up. So you see, EC is not actually about never using diapers, rather it's a way to free yourself and your baby from the dependence on diapers.

Of course, there are probably a dozen questions many of you have about how EC would work for your family. I highly recommend reading Christine Gross-Loh's book, as it's extremely informative, shows how adaptable EC is to many different lifestyles, and offers countless tips and testimonials from parents who have experienced EC in their own unique ways. It's an easy read for anyone new to EC, and Gross-Loh approaches the subject with a relaxed and nurturing manner. She has PhD and is a mother, herself, so you can trust that she's knowledgeable. In addition to the book, there's an immense amount of resources available online and in book-form, as well as a number of support groups throughout the world, including one called DiaperFreeBaby which Gross-Loh is involved in. There are even stores and online-shops devoted to selling items that can make ECing easier for you and your family, such as infant-sized underwear, cloth training pants, potties and bowls, etc.

In my opinion, Elimination Communication just seems like the best way to go. Because it's extremely gentler to baby and to the environment, because it's natural and non-coercive, because EC offers another way for parents and their babies to communicate and bond with one another, and because it's a tried and true method that has been practiced throughout the world for centuries and through modernity, particularly where disposable diapers are considered only to be a luxury item, hands-down I'm hooked.

Bummed About Diapers (PART ONE)

I have always (from as far back as I can consciously remember) wanted to be a mother. This sometimes subtle, sometimes over-powering, yet ever-present tugging at my uterine "heart-strings" has been a constant throughout my life. Every time I see a pudgy little bundle all swaddled in a mama's arms, or a tiny person waddling hand-in-hand with their daddy down a grocery isle, I say to myself, "Awww, a baby! I want one!" The desire to nurture is extremely strong in me. It's what led me, almost exactly one year ago, to scrap my career path in books/writing and instead try my hand at childcare, despite a complete lack of formal experience or education in the field (unless you consider playing house for far too long as a child and babysitting my nieces and nephews on occasion). I did however read several books of The Babysitter's Club series while I was in 5th grade, so perhaps that counts? Anyhow, with a supremely well-crafted and heart-felt cover letter (thanks to my BA in English) and an unflinchingly genuine desire to learn, I lucked out and was hired by a newly opened child care center in Southwest Portland. Working several months full time with a gaggle of infants from six weeks to eleven months gave me plenty of parenting practice under my belt! If you think one infant is a handful, try being responsible for the care of four of them at once.

"I bet it's good birth control," many people said.

Funny, and true, but the urge to parent is still there. I now am a nanny to a sweetie-pie 9-month-old, named Anna. I spend 20 plus hours of the week with her, one-on-one, doing all the things that a normal mother would do with their child - go for walks, take baths, sing songs, etc. and my baby "cravings" are still not satisfied. Of course, because she's not mine. Nonetheless, like many responsible someday-mothers and surely EVERY already-mother, I understand having a child makes a HUGE impact on your little world. My little world is not quite ready for me to be a mommy. Perhaps soon, but not yet. More accurately, mine and my husband's bank account is not ready. Babies are expensive. Of course, there are other factors that my husband and I would like to change before we deem ourselves ready. This is "family planning."

And just as important to consider in one's plans, the eco-responsible part of me knows that, aside from my own world getting bigger after having a child, the choices a parent makes while raising their beloved bambino can make a huge impact on the rest of the world, too, i.e. the environment. Yes, though their feet be itty bitty, the footprints they can leave on the environment are gigantuan. Ok, it's not their fault at all. Cower not, adorable little babes, you are not to blame! It's what your parents put on your bottoms!

I mean, I'm talking specifically about the excess waste and hazordous by-product from diapers. Disposable diapers, to be exact. Those squishy things on babies' bums to hold the poo and pee, the things that need constant changing, the ones that get thrown in the trash and then the landfill and then they sit and sit and sit and sit, bio-degrading in something like 800 years. Yeah, that's probably not good for the earth. Imagine the vast number of diapers that require changing in a single child's lifetime, assuming that they are not fully potty-trained until the age of three (which is quite common), and it's just appalling to think that all of that waste is just hanging around. Multiply that by, what, a really big number that represents the crap-ton of babies who exist in this world today alone, and you see that we've got a lot of stinky diapers on our hands. And I haven't even mentioned the trauma our earth undergoes when those plasticy bleached diapers are manufactured! Good grief! So these are things I worry about.

There is an option for those of us who are hip and green-minded. I've seen how some great Earth-friendly companies are now making bio-degradable disposables! WOW, what a relief! Except that they're pricey. If you so kindly will recall my earlier point that money is slim when you've got a child... And there's still a lot of waste involved in the process of manufacturing and disposing of them. Sure, it's trash that will eventually disappear, but it still is shitty (pun intended) to our earth.

I also haven't even begun to discuss the ramifications of those disposable diapers in terms of baby's health and development. Heard of diaper rash? Caused by diapers! There are a gazillion creams/pastes/ointments on the market devoted solely to the problem. No wonder! Our poor little kids are sitting in their own exrement and urine for sometimes hours on end, thanks to the constantly improving design of diaper linings that allow more and more of its contents to be absorbed. Obviously that's going to irritate their sensitive skin! And personally, I would hate to sit in my own pee or poo for even a minute, let alone several hours. Women can empathize to the smallest degree - you can understand what this must feel like if you have ever worn a maxi pad for menstruation. Unpleasant, to say the least. Additionally, by conditioning young babies to ignore the unpleasant sensation of a wet or soiled bottom until it is convenient for an adult to change their diaper, and then later turning around and asking for them to suddenly recall the sensation again as well as to give up what was once appropriate for elimination and adopt a completely new habit at the age of two or three (as in the process of potty training), you're just setting everyone up for a great deal of confusion and frustration. So I say, disposable diapers stink!

The alternative to disposable? Cloth. I've only ever heard rumors that these are still used by some parents, who are either ultra hippie or Quaker or something along those lines. I think the idea is great, in theory. Natural, easy-to-come by, responsibly produced cloth. Surely a cheaper choice and a more eco-friendly choice (if you're choosing organic, sustainably harvested fabric) as well. But I just assume that cloth diapers are such a pain in the rear to clean! You'd be doing laundry constantly, am I right? And there's some debate as to whether the extra energy and water required to launder cloth diapers is worth it compared to the environmental risks of disposables. Factor in the resources wasted by transporting the diapers if you use a cleaning service, and you realize you're still not helping the issue all that much. The enviro-impact is less, true, but how much less? I mean, it sounds worth it to me to put in the extra effort, but in the name of convenience, who knows what I'll resort to once I have a kid of my own.

So, what can a caring, conscientious, and frugal parent do about it?! It's something I've seriously mulled over. How will I diaper my baby?

In an effort to educate myself about the ever-changing market of baby stuff out there as well as the newest parenting techniques and philosophies, I peruse books and blogs and browse the shopping isles of baby departments or online stores. Ok, I do it just for fun too! Confession: Just last night I couldn't help but melt when I spotted a perfectly classic teak tandem swing online that I would die to buy for my children-to-be. I do this sort of thing all the time. So it's no surprise that while browsing the internet several weeks ago, I came upon an option I hadn't even considered: Diaper-free baby. "What? No diapers? Crazy talk!" you say. No really, it's possible! It doesn't really mean absolutely no diapers, ever. It only implies, a baby not dependent on diapers. Just here me out. This isn't some newfangled trend. This practice has been around for years! And most people are calling this approach Elimination Communication.

So why hadn't I heard about it, you might think?

(I'll tell you more about what I have learned regarding EC in my next post, so check back in a day or so!)

[photo borrowed from here]

A Little Taste of Love

To everyone (including he who has found perfect love, is searching for reciprocated love, and even the one who doesn't believe in the existence of love): I hope you had a wonderful Valentines Day. Despite the gross consumerism and commercialization involved in the holiday, and the fact that for single folk it can be quite heartbreaking to endure, Valentines Day can be a tender and sweet little occasion. To me, it hearkens back to days in elementary school when you baked pink cupcakes for your entire class and exchanged paper notes stuck with stickers and glitter. To open a quaint little envelope with your name on it, and read a punny/cheesy message from the quiet kid who sits behind you and picks his scabs all day, makes you smile because even he has a soft side to him. Sure, his mom probably made him send valentines to everyone, but you're touched just the same. It reminds me of the days you got all giddy when your crush smiled at you, even though you knew he was smiling at every one else, too. Valentines Day was always just about spreading love and kindness, not about finding true romance and professing devotion (though if you're in a relationship, it can definitely be that for you). So I hope you all experienced some love and kindness yesterday.

I do happen to have a sweetie (YAY), so I baked gooey organic Double-Chocolate/Double-Love Brownies and hand-made corny and sentimental cards. That's him (hubby) in the photo, showing off my imperfectly heart-shaped, but undeniably delectable, confections.